Starting in the morning… Heading up to Pennsylvania to hang with my amazing girls, Mel and Kerianne.

Perhaps they can let me in on what makes a good girlfriend/partner since they’ve got it down pat together and I need some work.

Doubtful. I just can not grasp any of the formulas. I can’t even get the right answers using similar problems that they show you step by fucking step to do. I feel as though I have dyslexia but with numbers. Each problem set takes about 15 minutes for normal people. I’m spending a half hour. And that alone is frustrating… then to not get the problem right… I’m just done with it. I have failed math continuously my entire life and I don’t know why I expected it to be different this time around.

I’m just gonna have to figure something out after this class is over. Because I can’t get my degree without this class and the next math class.

So hard that I don’t think I even stand a remote chance of bringing the grade up enough to pass it.

i-am-the—hero—of-this-story:

I try not to be bitter
Over the couples
Holding hands,
Or the bride and groom
On their wedding day,
Or the couple kissing
In the picture frame,
Happy one year anniversary,
I love you for always,
But I guess it’s kinda hard,
When you’re so much alone,
And everyone else is
Holding someone’s
Hand, and your only
Lover is your sadness,
Because it just seems
So goddamn impossible
To believe that anyone
Could ever love you
Like that.

For her. Always.

Can’t keep doing this to myself. I was doing okay until about a week ago… When the waiting started back up and the hoping.

That’s all.

Just do.

When the two people you felt in sync with fall out of sync and it is all just this big shitty feeling and if feels like you don’t even know them anymore because you’ve become strangers to each other.